Bigamy and Big of You

“How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?” Gábor Sári, now known as Zsa Zsa Gabor (1917- )
“When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows.” Frederike Ryder
“I never even believed in divorce until after I got married.” Diane Ford
What? I can’t? It seems that the First Department has suspended some poor solo practitioner for doing nothing more than marrying the love of his life in Jamaica. Well, that and the fact that he was already married to someone else in the United States. There is no claim that he ever did anything wrong in the practice of law and he credibly testified that he never really intended to live with wife number two. So, we are now all on notice that having two wives simultaneously could affect our ability to practice law for a while, at least until the Third Department weighs in on this important issue. Darn. Compare this with poor Thomas Lowe, a divorce practitioner in Eagan, Minnesota who was suspended for fifteen months for merely billing his client for time he spent having sex with her. Is that prohibited in New York? Get back to me on that one.
Did you get a gander at the spiffy new website for the Unified Court System? It is a wonder, and you can now get your court information in Spanish, Russian, Punjabi, Korean, Arabic, Haitian Creole (as opposed to Antillean Creole), Bengali and something called Wolof for all you Senegambia fans to which I say Jërëjëf very much. It is here where you can find the 41 page booklet of instructions for an uncontested divorce. Good luck figuring that one out, as the instructions for child support calculation are a wonder unto their own. It does explain the 32 forms used in an uncontested divorce. If ever there was a cry for divorce reform this is it as the majority of the forms serve no purpose other than statistic collection (UCS-11 for the Department of Health) or some do good legislator wanting everyone to have notice of everything (loss of health insurance anyone?). It will help you find an attorney by referring you to various organizations such as the Dominican Bar Association, Collaborative Divorce Association of the Capital District (where you can find a Divorce Coach or read Dr. Tom’s Career Tips! ), or the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Bar Association of Greater New York. I do appreciate the forms, but I wish they would once and for all use the most updated Statement of Net Worth form from about 10 years ago rather than that 1998 thing. After all, it is your form. All in all it is a big improvement but I wish they would get our newly elected Justice Richard Mott onto the Judicial Directory before his term expires.
On top of all this, the Colorado Senate has passed a bill decriminalizing adultery. It just might pass some day if Governor Hickenlooper gets on board, and one wonders where the State of New York is on all of this. So, even if we can’t marry two women and practice law at the same time, at least we can go to Aspen and have relations with others without the fear of prosecution. A little light at the end of the tunnel.
Michael P. Friedman
www.fmpclegal.com
Matter of Rosenzweig, __ A.D.3rd __ (1st Dept., February 28, 2013)
Foolishly spelled marihuana in the Penal Law and by the Third Department.
Gordon v. Richards, __ A.D.3rd __ (February 14, 2013).
Actually it is the Family Court Advisory and Rules Committee
You can find it here:
www.nycourts.gov/forms/matrimonial/Affirmation%20Of%20Counsel.wpd

http://www.courts.state.ny.us/
Here’s one: Have a Positive Attitude. Thanks Dr. Tom.