The Joy of Family Law “I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.” Zsa Zsa Gabor. “A lot of people ask me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I'm about $100,000 short.” Mickey Rooney When I started practicing law in the late 1970’s, there was no child support standards act, no equitable distribution law and no maintenance (alimony) standards act. Family law was much simpler, and many lawyers, especially in more rural areas, helped people with divorces as well as criminal matters, wills, estates and real estate transactions. But Albany County had its matrimonial specialists and they were wonderful lawyers and friends. At the time, the Catholic Church did not recognize civil divorces and it discouraged the practice of divorce law by Catholic lawyers. As a result many local family lawyers were Jewish or from other religions. They were the wonderful Robert Kahn, Larry Gordon, the hilarious Sandy Soffer and then the younger generation of Stan Rosen and Timothy Tippins. Then there was the legendary Anthony Cardona who became the Presiding Justice of the Third Department. In 2002 Pope John Paul II said that Roman Catholic lawyers should not handle divorces. “We cannot surrender to the divorce mentality. When a couple encounters difficulties in their marriage, priests and other members of the faith must be united to help them positively resolve the crisis. Lawyers must always decline to use their professional skills for ends that are contrary to justice, like divorce.'' As a result of the influence of the Catholic Church, it was not until 2010 that New York became the last state in the nation to recognize no fault divorces. Prior to that, one could defeat the distribution of assets by proving the lack of fault. One could also ask for a jury trial for proof of divorce fault which I never did, but I endured four such trials. In the last my client with weak fault grounds had to endure the testimony (without cross examination by me) of her 14-year-old son who testified he saw her holding the hands of another man at the Empire State Plaza. I was able to convince the jury to grant the divorce simply by saying, “What kind of a husband puts his 14-year-old son on the stand to testify in public before a jury and his mother about her holding someone’s hand.” That did not stop business owners and professionals from preventing the distribution of their marital businesses by claiming no fault, i.e. no adultery, abandonment, or cruel and inhuman treatment. In the meantime they would all be afflicted with the disease we called RAIDS, Recently Acquired Income Deficiency Syndrome. I think it is in the DSM-5. Yes, it was a different time but it was infinitely enjoyable. I can still hear Sandy Soffer telling a bunch of lawyers at a “motion day” (Thursday) at the courthouse, “If I had sex with all my clients as I was accused by their husbands, I’d be so tired I couldn’t get to work in the morning.” Family Law had another bright spot. When I started practicing at Ainsworth, Sullivan, Tracy and Knauf, there were no women trying civil cases before juries and never any women associates at large litigation firms like Ainsworth and Carter, Conboy. There were no such restrictions in family law. Within a few years we saw the elevation, among others, of future Court of Appeals Judge Leslie Stein at McNamee, Lochner and Flo Richardson in Bob Kahn’s firm as some of the best matrimonial lawyers in the state. Did you know that the first county-wide female Albany jurist was a Family Court judge, even before I was admitted to practice? Her name was Eileen A. Sullivan and she passed last year at the age of 103. She was appointed by Republican Governor Nelson Rockefeller in the early 1970’s in overwhelmingly Democratic Albany County when an opening occurred. She served until the next election where she was defeated by the legendary Michael Tepedino. She has two cases published in New York’s Miscellaneous Citations. Over the years, the legislature in their wisdom made Family Law beyond complicated which ended the part time family practitioners and dramatically increased the hourly rates of family law “specialists” as there were far more people seeking the services of fewer lawyers. As one attorney said at one of my NYS Bar Association CLE programs, “I think it is disgusting that someone in Albany has to pay you, Mr. Friedman, $490 per hour just to get divorced.” I replied, “I agree with you. And I’ll stop charging it as soon as people stop paying me.” But as you can see it was a fun ride thanks to the wonderful professionals who made it so. Or as the great Zsa Zsa Gabor once said, “I have learned that not diamonds but divorce lawyers are a girl's best friend.” Amen. Post Script: When I moved to California in 2015, I was treated by a local cardiologist. After a series of tests he said to me, “Mr. Friedman, I understand you were a divorce lawyer in New York.” I said, “Yes, doctor, but why?” He said, “Because you have a heart that’s never been used before.” THAT made me laugh.